miercuri, 23 decembrie 2009

The closest thing to crazy

The closest thing to crazy when I don't know what I feel and how I should react to different situations. I am not even capable to keep my own promises, so why bother judging other people for not keeping theirs? I'm a hypocrite and I'm starting to feel comfortable with it. And it's sad, for me and for those around me.

Once, I loved winters. I loved the smell of frost, the Christmas carols had a different impact on me, I loved to stay in the house with a cup of hot chocolate in my hands and once I felt good without doing anything specific. But for two years I don't feel the same about winter. I still keep in my soul the memory of it, the fact that once I loved it and I still hope that maybe this winter will be different, in a good way, because I'm sick of bad winters.

I want to blame something or someone for the absence of my feelings and don't want to be the one blamed because I want everything to be perfect...it's just that it isn't.

And sometimes i feel that I'm very close to crazy. I should wake up and realize that I worry for problems that aren't important and I'm ignoring the ones that really matter for me and my future.

But what if I won't be able to wake up, would it be someone there to wake me up?

2 comentarii:

Ghosty spunea...

like i said to myself, you will wake up one day and realize what is to do. just try and pay attention 'cause you may get your answer from where you expect the least:)

untilnovember spunea...

I used to love winters too, up to last year. It seems we are alike in more ways than we think;)